as published in the Fall 2022 Newsletter of the Mid-Atlantic Group Psychotherapy Society
I facilitated a professional development group for the first time.
No, that’s a gross understatement.
I developed a Process Group Immersion (PGI) program for trainees in college and university counseling center settings, wherein they would be immersed in process groups through a role as a 2-day, marathon, process group participant– but with only other graduate-level clinical mental health trainees. This professional development program brought together (virtually), across various regions of the east coast, a number of trainees from college/university training sites, a select number of trainees who registered independently, and a team of talented and skilled group facilitators. In addition to founding and coordinating PGI, I was one of the facilitators…
While I was putting this program together using my big picture, systems-oriented, logistically thinking brain, I wanted to control for everything that I possibly could: selecting facilitators for the program that have ample experience in group process AND who could be trusted to respond appropriately to the identities and needs of the participants through a lens of social justice and equity; not having folx in a group together from the same training program; not having trainees in a group led by a facilitator from their current training site; leaving it up to each site to determine if this would be optional, expected, required; addressing the REQUIREMENT to respect self and others, and identifying potential consequences of breaching that agreement.
Along the way, I faced a distinct choice point: do I participate in the program as a process group facilitator, or no? For some this would be a no-brainer, but at the forefront of my consciousness was the fact that I had never facilitated a professional development group before.
Participated? Oh yes, plenty of times, for over a decade.
Facilitated!? No. Never.
I went back and forth in my mind, but ultimately I decided not to allow the fear and discomfort to hinder me. I decided to lean into this new role, and to use it as an opportunity. Dare I say, for my own professional development!? ::insert joke rimshot here::
So I put myself on the list to do it. And then the program was put together and the day came and I had to DO IT! Aaaaaaaaah!
It was bad enough that members of my group came in with an impression of me already: “so-and-so said you’re the best, so I’m looking forward to observing your style and learning from you.” THEY SAID WHAT?!??!? That person’s obviously wrong.
I already felt very anxious about not living up to the minimum expectation, and then THIS!
Be prepared to be disappointed.
Despite that I kept telling myself, “No pressure, but PRESSURE!” … I facilitated the group anyway. I just kind of forgot about who was in the “room” and what they might expect and what they might know, and I applied my knowledge and experience, and I facilitated a process group.
In reflecting back, I realize that to the greatest extent possible, my initial hesitation had to do with imposter syndrome: I already doubt myself a lot when it comes to my work with patients/clients. And you want me to demonstrate my clinical approach to people who might already know what it’s supposed to look like? You want me to intentionally expose myself to people who probably have models of how it’s done right???
In the quintessential way, I was worried that I would be exposed as a fraud.
But that didn’t happen. As a matter of fact, I had moments, myself, of internal dialogue, like that endemic in the Black call-and-response culture: “YES SHEMIKA!”; “preach!”; “that’s good”; and so on and so forth. And because of that, I believed the participants of my group when they said they had an amazing experience; and it was hard, but very rewarding; and they learned a lot; and they felt privileged to have had the opportunity to be a part of the program.
Logistically, I would not have done it without having my people in my corner: my advisory board, my consultants, my facilitation team that I had full confidence in.
Realistically, I could not have done it without the training programs and participants signing up.
Holistically, I could not have done it without just doing it.
I look forward to the opportunity to just do it again. And maybe even again and again.
*Click here to learn more about the PGI program on the Training and Consultation Page.*