A little over a week ago, I was the featured speaker of a roundtable discussion event put on by the Mid Atlantic Group Psychotherapy Society’s Anti-Racism Committee. I had to be talked into it, as I have not typically been chomping at the bit to do anything that would quite clearly put me in the spotlight in this way; but I was and still am honored that my colleagues and friends at MAGPS believed in me enough to entrust me with this task.
I thought long and hard about what the topic of discussion would be, and late one night, the title came to me:
It’s (Been) in the Room: Bias in the Form of Blindness, Differential Care, and the Maintenance of Racist Structures in Practice.
It came to me in complete form, all at once. And it felt final. It felt right.
…But it wasn’t.
It was not until a couple of days ago that, while reflecting with colleagues on the roundtable discussion and the reflection paper that I read (see: Anyone Else post), a respected colleague pointed out my error. She very rightfully shared with me that the title of the roundtable discussion contains a figurative reference to “blindness” that could be experienced as a microaggression to those who are physically blind or have other visual impairments. She was absolutely right.
With the way my brain works, sometimes there are these grand ideas that come to me in a way that seems so comprehensive that I do not think about the potential impact they might have other than that which I intend. But as always when it comes to microaggressions, it is the IMPACT that matters most and should always be centered, not the intent. In my desire to focus on the ways in which racism and bias have been overlooked throughout the history of mental health, and even until today, I caused harm. I clearly overlooked the ways in which my use of the word “blindness” in the title IS a microaggression. And I have been guilty of overlooking similar phrases and the impact on ability/disability status as an aspect of identity for some.
There are plenty of other words or phrases that could have been used instead of my having made reference to the blind in my title: IGNORANCE, SILENCE, INATTENTION, AVERTED GAZE, INSENSITIVITY, AVOIDANCE, INSENSITIVITY, EGOCENTRISM, COMPLICITY…
It was and is my responsibility to not engage in the business as usual of employing language that is harmful to others. So I take full responsibility for any harm that resulted from my word choice. I recognize the impact of this microaggression and at least some of who might be hurt by it. If anyone is interested in conversing about the impact this had on you specifically, I welcome and invite that contact. And I will hold myself accountable to self-reflect and course-correct; to make every effort to not engage in the same harm; and to be more inclusive in my language for any event titles, speeches, talks, etc. moving forward.
Shemika, i just want to take this space to say how much I appreciated your presentation, everything about it: content, openness to share, discuss, etc. The way you detailed the back and forth like a tennis volley describing the high, slow balls as they went back and forth, but mostly they either didn’t know the ball was in their court, or swung and missed it entirely! Your “oops” about using the word blindness got me to thinking what words have I. most recently used that may carry a charge. When I used my seven words to describe myself one of them was “sinophile.” I’ve thought that that meant a Westerner interested in all things about China and Chinese, but I bet there is a more pejorative meaning or origin that I’m inattentive to. I’ll now google it and hopefully will learn more about the term. No doubt it has a imperialist, colonial origin! I think I even heard a voiced reaction to the word when I said it. Thank you for this opportunity to be more aware. Lenore